Yet we've assigned a due date of 'do before I die'.
It occurs to me this is the epitome of procrastination. What does that say about ourselves and our feelings of self-worth? I think it says our personal happiness comes in.... last place, or at least, just before last place,(dying).
We've told ourselves as long as I do this before I die, I'll be happy. Not a very efficient strategy, considering no one knows when they will die.
I've come to realize in some ways - it does have to be 'all about me,' but not in a selfish or narcissistic way.
However, if you don't put yourself first, you will never live up to your full potential. If you don't put enough time and energy into being a well balanced and happy person, you won't be a very good partner, wife, mother, sibling, friend, co-worker, and not even a very good member of your community.
If we can't identify what makes us truly happy, then we're always spinning, chasing someone else's definition of happy. If I don't value or appreciate my own time, skills, energy or ideas - no one else will either. You become a very nice door mat, that everyone walks over, because - well because they can. Better yet, you've given them permission to by your very own example.
So I realized it came down to this. No one else in this world should feel, or could be, responsible for my happiness. I am the only person that can be held accountable on that score. If I'm not happy, before I look outward in any direction, I need to look inward.
I had been spending too much time saying we'll do that when... or, it will be better when... Well I'm done waiting. I want to do it now, and I want it to be good now.
We can't control much in life, despite what we may tell ourselves. However, we can control our actions, and our responses to what happens in life.
Sadly, it took the thought of turning 50 for me to realize all this.
On my 49th birthday I created a "BEFORE I'M 50" list. I put a lot of things on this list, knowing I probably wouldn't be able to complete all of them, but wanted enough variety that I would wouldn't have an excuse not to have accomplished a good portion of them.
I got a good deal of them done. I won't bore you with the entire list, but will share with you that it had a lot of variety. I wanted to face a few fears, be adventurous and commit to identifying and living by a guiding principle in life. I wanted to expand my mind, my perspective, be more grateful, show more gratitude and learn to embrace and be in the moment.
So yeah, I jumped out of an airplane and I got a tattoo with the words "One life, once chance," and I ran without stopping longer than I ever had before. I volunteered more and reached out to many who had touched my life in a special way or made an incredible impression on me. I made it a point to tell those I love, "I love you" more often, and why I love them.
There is still much more to do, and it's on my "Before I'm 51" list. I don't anticipate ever completing my list, however - I do see myself happier in the adventure of going for it!
Regardless of how many of your list items get re-pinned, or how many 'likes' they get, they aren't moments in your life to treasure, remember, learn and grow from until you make it a priority to go make those moments happen!
Grab your list, circle a bunch and put it on your "Before my Next Birthday" list. Then, one thing at a time - make a plan to make it happen.
Next time I wish you Happy Birthday, I want to hear all about it!
